Abigail Spanberger Shows How Real Leadership Sounds When the Script Falls Away
What you will learn from this article
How Abigail Spanberger’s unscripted election-night moment became a model for authentic, emotionally intelligent leadership.
Why vulnerability and humor can strengthen credibility and connection for communicators at every level.
What leaders like Stacey Kennedy and Indra Nooyi teach us about presence, humility, and bringing one’s whole self to leadership.
This past election night, as Governor-elect Abigail Spanberger addressed her supporters, she offered more than a political speech—she delivered an unscripted lesson in authentic leadership. Amid reciting her vision for Virginia, Spanberger paused and addressed her daughter off-camera: “You did not clean your room today as you promised me.” Her daughter’s reply—“I’m working on it!”—and Spanberger’s quick comeback, “She’s working on it. If I was working on it, we wouldn’t have won this election today,” brought laughter to the room and sparked a surge of social media commentary remarking on the incoming governor’s relatability.
In an era when public statements are endlessly rehearsed, Spanberger’s spontaneity was refreshingly real. It reminded us that credibility doesn’t come from perfection, but from presence. Whether leading a company or a campaign, today’s most effective communicators are those who honor their humanness, embracing unpredictability and humor rather than shying away from them.
Communication experts such as Brene Brown have long argued that vulnerability is an essential leadership trait. By not just handling an interruption but creating one with grace and humor, Spanberger presented her whole self to her constituents—a hallmark of emotional intelligence.
This is not just a political lesson; it’s a model for leaders across industries and sectors. There was a time—not long ago—when women leaders assiduously avoided reference to family or anything else that might remind people of the female human behind the title. I’ve learned a great deal from our U.S. CEO, Stacey Kennedy, over the past three years, but I think the lesson that has been most impactful is her embrace of humility. Lots of leaders talk about listening more than they speak, but Stacey lives those words, listening not just to colleagues but to community members and others whose lives our businesses touch and frequently sharing stories about the travails of managing teenage twins. I’ve also been honored to spend time with and learn from the great Indra Nooyi, who broke the mold as CEO of PepsiCo by bringing her whole self to the job—and encouraging others to do the same. She is well-known for writing handwritten letters to the parents of her top executives, thanking them for “the gift” of their child to the company and acknowledging the parents’ influence on their child’s success. In this way and others, she set a new standard for realness and empathy at the top.
Research on leadership presence, including the work of Amy Cuddy, confirms that audiences are most drawn to people who are both competent and relatable. Stories about addressing failures or juggling the realities of working parenthood are more than anecdotes; they are credibility builders and conduits of connection.
For leaders across sectors, the message is clear: Presence matters. When leaders can respond in real time—with humor, humility, and warmth—they demonstrate their ability to lead in the real world, even its most unscripted moments.
Spanberger’s exchange reminds us that credibility is earned not in the flawless delivery of prepared messages, but in the genuine, sometimes messy, moments that must be navigated. Whether on the campaign trail or in the boardroom, the most effective leaders switch seamlessly between history-making and housekeeping, leadership and laughter—reminding us of what authenticity truly looks like.
True leadership isn’t found in what’s scripted, but in how we lead when the script falls away.
