Finding the Right Words
Corinna Stoeffl, Right Voice for You Facilitator
We all have messages that we would like to get across to others. We wonder, “in how many ways can I say it” and “which one of these will grab my audience and invite them to take the intended action?” How often do we end up listing or explaining the benefits of that action? What if there is another way?
What if we engage with people? What does this mean? You know the population you plan to address. So you decided what it is they need to hear. Engagement means you are wondering what it is they can hear and structuring your message around that. Decisions and conclusion do not allow you to see the various ways to phrase that message, rather it’s almost a formula you implement. Decisions and conclusions limit you to what you have already decided.
Here are 5 suggestions to help with phrasing an inviting message:
1. No Point of View
We all have points of view. When they become firmly entrenched, though, we are not able to perceive possibilities that are different from that point of view. Without being aware of it, having a fixed point of view creates separation between people. We are stuck until we let go of it. At that moment, we begin to see other ways of approaching a subject, some of which may be creating a message that reaches more people, is more of an invitation. Having no point of view makes you irresistible. Why? So many more people can relate to you, feel seen or heard by you.
In order to have a point of view, we have to have made a judgment. Often, we consider something negative as a judgment. Yet something positive can also be a judgment. For instant, striving to be perfect requires constant judgment. Being judgmental is very energy intensive, energy that could be used in another way.
3. Ask a Question
Asking a question makes us aware of additional possibilities. We are taught to expect an answer to a question. Therefore, many of the questions we tend to formulate are actually statements with a question mark attached. An answer, though, does not give you awareness of something else being possible. An open-ended question does.
With every article I write I ask questions. It depends on what is going on for me which ones I ask. Am I at the beginning and looking at the subject; am I stuck and don’t have any ideas; a question will always get me going again. Here are some you could ask:
- What contribution can I be here?
- How else can I approach this?
- Does it really need to be like this?
- What if I tried this?
- What question can I ask?
When you ask one of these questions, be quiet. You may not get an awareness right away. It may take a day, a week or even a month, if it is a big subject. Yet, there will be a moment when you suddenly go: “Ohh, that’s what I was looking for.” If you wonder if this will work, all I can say is give it a try, play with it. It does work.
4. Vibration of words
You may think now she’s really getting esoteric. No, as a former math teacher, I am pragmatic. The fact that words have a vibration is used in translating. Vibration is something that is measurable. I invite you to play with it yourself. And I mean play with it, not be serious about it. Can you sense the difference in vibration between play and serious? Interested and interesting. Open and closed. Be truly present when you listen and perceive the vibration of individual words or sentences.
Are you attempting to prove something with your message? If we do, we tend to use big words which have a heavy vibration. When talking to colleagues, we like to show that we know our stuff and use the appropriate terminology. If we don’t intend to prove something, we use everyday words that are more bubbly in their vibration. Now, neither one is right or wrong. It depends on the purpose of your message. Knowing this allows you to choose the words that serve the objective of the message. Using terminology makes it difficult for everyday people to understand what you are talking about.
What I learned in my training as a Right Voice For You facilitator changed a lot for me. My need to prove went away. I am so much more aware of the vibration of words. As a result, I have much more ease when I talk to people, or better with people. (Can you perceive the difference between ‘to’ and ‘with’?) In order to get better, are you willing to be present with yourself, “hear” yourself and make the changes to implement these 5 suggestions? It’s not rocket science. All that is required is the willingness to be present.
About the Author: Corinna Stoeffl is a counselor, life coach, photographer, author and Right Voice for You facilitator. An Access Consciousness facilitator and mother of two, Corinna’s whirlwind and diverse career path has equipped her with a unique skill set and an incredible sense of self-awareness and wisdom, which she shares with her clients, and children. Having always felt “different” and struggling to fit in, Corinna’s journey to self-acceptance culminated in her current career as a Right Voice for You facilitator, helping others find their voice, appreciate their unique qualities and use them to their advantage in life, relationships and career. Corinna recently contributed a chapter to the collaborative book Voices of the 21st Century.