Dr. Andrew Gardella
It isn’t about believing in yourself or not believing in yourself. I know shocker, right? As the Fall Out Boy lyric goes…The best part of believe is the lie. And believe it or not, in the seminars and private sessions I facilitate, what I became aware of is that what’s stopping people from the influence they could be having are the lies they buy. The things they believe about themselves, others, or about business that just aren’t true. Being you and believing in you are two drastically different universes.
And here is why:
Your point of view creates what shows up for you in life. The beliefs you have, whether they are conscious or unconscious, create and augment what is showing up for you. So, your beliefs act as the filter for what you can be, perceive, and receive. Think about it as rose-colored glasses, everything you see is rosy. So, your beliefs filter out or shade any possibility that doesn’t match what you already have decided and believe.
Being you is when you aren’t thinking or referencing the past. You are just present. Believing in you is always in reference to the past. You go back to a past event and use that as evidence for why you can’t or can do something. Also, what I have found in most cases is clients already have an unconscious belief that they can’t and then try to overcome that belief with a conscious belief that they can. What does that create? Lots of frustration and struggle. And when they go to speak or to have an effect on the world, their message is muddled because the conflicting beliefs they have, whether the speaker or audience realize it consciously, are being energetically communicated. It could look like the audience not being interested, being confused about the details of the plan, or just not getting it.
So here are some tools to get you out of belief and into being and have more influence.
This is a simple exercise to lower the barriers you subconsciously have up to connecting and communicating with others. Before you are going to talk with anyone, close your eyes and get a sense of any barriers you may have to communicating with that person/those people. Great, now push all the barriers down. And push any other barriers down. And just keep repeating that until you can’t sense any more barriers. It can be quick 30 seconds to 1 minute. The more you do this the easier it will become and the more you will naturally function without barriers. It works great in boardrooms, classrooms, and on dates too!
*What creates the barriers and walls we have to others? Our beliefs and points of view. And who creates those? You do. So, if you come up against a wall or barrier you can’t seem to push down, remember who put it there in the first place…you. If you can build the wall, you can just as easily take it down.
Pull their attention to you
You can do this before and during your meetings or presentations. After you have lowered any barriers you have, now it’s time to draw them in and get them connected with you and whatever you are presenting. So, you pull their attention to you. It’s that easy. Some people like to visualize energy or water flowing from their audience to and through themselves. Others sense lines being connected from their audience to them and their ideas. However, you find what works for you, as long as it’s about a flow from your audience to and through you.
What is your audience willing to hear?
This is one of the biggest missteps I see clients make (and I am most guilty of too) before speaking or writing, I always ask and sense what is my audience willing to hear. If you are looking to influence them, you need to speak their language, not yours. Even if everyone speaks English there is a great variance in usage and the meaning of words depending on their field, education, or culture. So, get to know your audience. Use words and examples that are relevant and relatable to them. Tips 1 and 2 are very helpful as well with this as when you are present and don’t have barriers, you can receive and respond to the information your audience is giving you much easier.
One final note, please realize these tools are meant to be played with. Keep using them and play with them to find out how they can work for you.
About the Author: Dr. Andrew Gardella graduated from Case Western Reserve University Magna Cum Lade with degrees in Biology, Psychology, and Cognitive Science. He graduated from Palmer College of Chiropractic in Florida. Along with various chiropractic techniques, Dr. Andrew is a facilitator for a range of Access Consciousness special programs, including facilitating Being You. He is available for group sessions, bodywork sessions, and phone consultations. Follow on Twitter at @RightVoiceForU.