For the longest time the business world was considered a “man’s world” and women had ‘no business’ participating in it. Their place was taking care of their home and children. Fortunately, that now has changed, yet one of the main pitfalls of running any business, much less a successful one, still remains. It is a full-time endeavor (to say the least), an investment of most of one’s time, money and effort, with little to spare for anything else. And If you are a woman with a family, it is considered even harder.
So, what happens if we add being a single mother to the mix?
Talking from personal experience, when I became a single parent with a child to support, everyone was expecting me to fall on my knees and have a hard life. Most of the advice I was given was to focus on supporting myself and the child and best just to give up on having a career or running a business as that was supposed to be an impossible endeavor for a woman in my situation.
Truth be told, for me it turned out to be quite the opposite.
So, what if there is a different possibility available that many have never considered before?
What if we could celebrate this instead of seeing it as a problem or a difficulty?
What if we could turn things around simply by changing our point of view and taking a different approach to the way we are dealing with the situations we come across in our everyday and business life?
Here are some of the top strategies that have helped me and so many of the people I work with to turn things around and be an inspiration to themselves.
Breaking the stereotype and asking a question
Families nowadays come in all shapes and sizes. So, instead of coming to conclusions or adopting the conclusions of others, perhaps start asking different questions.
Questions open doors to different possibilities to choose from, whereas a conclusion always leaves you with just one option, usually a limiting one.
A good start is asking yourself whether it is more important for you to fit the stereotype or create a home that is loving, supportive and happy even if that home is different than most?
Before I became a single mum, I was in a toxic relationship which took up most of my energy and attention, so I had barely any left to be present with my life, my child and my work. This was not an example I wanted to set for my child, as I was unhappy and miserable most of the time, which also took a toll on my work and so my business, and my career suffered as a result.
You see, it takes up more energy to be in a dysfunctional relationship, as you are in a constant state of fixing it and using most of your energy and attention on overcoming problems and worrying. Instead, you could be using that energy more productively and harnessing it to create a life, a home and a business that works for you and everyone around you that you care about.
Similar to business; if you are smart you will not invest your time, effort and money into something that is not going to thrive and yield great return on investment. Why should you do so with your life?
The gift in disguise
Another wonderful question to assist in you having a different perspective and flipping things on their head is: What is right about this I am not getting? What is the gift in disguise here?
This in turn requires us to take a broader perspective and start seeing opportunities, where we saw challenges and difficulties before.
These two questions also propel us into opening the doors to having more gratitude in our life, which is one of the elements that liberates us from judgment of ourselves and the situations we are in the midst of.
Getting out of judgment
Whenever we are judging ourselves, others or the situations we are involved in, we are diminishing and slowing down possible change and cutting ourselves off from the stream of possibilities. This in turn makes it difficult to see the different solutions that are available for changing a situation and what is more, stifling our brilliance and our creative abilities.
Take care of yourself
As mothers we often put ourselves last. Yet it’s important to not focus solely on your child, you must give to yourself first. Your self-care is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Nurture you, your body and be kind to yourself.
When we are happy and fulfilled, we are radiating that energy and people respond to us accordingly – treating us differently as a result. We also start making different choices which bring us closer to a more fulfilling life.
Be an inspiration to yourself
When we have so much going on in our life and time is limited, we tend to think it’s a disadvantage when in fact it’s quite the opposite. Women actually become stronger, more capable, we start stepping up and even more gets done. We often discover a strength within us that you hadn’t realized before. We choose to use our time wisely, to multi-task effectively and become more committed to what we want to create and achieve.
Being willing to have ease instead of difficulty
What if one of the crucial things in changing anything is to start valuing ease instead of difficulty?
More importantly, the real question here is are we truly willing to be that different and stand out from the crowd by having a life that is ease filled?
And if the answer to that question for you is a NO, might this be an indication that there is a place of value struggle is holding in your life?
Let us look at this a bit closer. If you did not have to struggle with anything in your life, wouldn’t people consider you as strange and different? For so many people, validating difficulty is a way of maintaining status quo and fitting in.
And if you are one of those people that is ready for something different, a truly beautiful life is possible and awaiting to blossom into existence.
It is up to us to make that choice.
Only you know for yourself.
About the Author: Marja Zapusek is an Access Consciousness certified facilitator, Being You certified facilitator and Right Voice for You facilitator. She is also a licensed mediator with a law degree and works in the corporate world as an assistant auditor and CEO of two companies, one in Accounting and one in self-development. Before finding Access, she had tried all sorts of modalities, none of which created any sense of freedom or even much change. Access helped her leave an abusive relationship, create a happy home with her beautiful daughter, and have a healthy relationship with her body. Today she continues to build a thriving business traveling the world – living out her dreams and teaching others to do the same. Follow her on Facebook.