Hair is #1 Critical Media Factor According to Findings Released at the Annual Blowfish Media Summit

Posted on May 29, 2012 in Marketing Nightmares | 0 comments

In this year’s annual recap of the exclusive Blowfish Media Summit, an expert panel concluded that the following top five factors are deemed most critical for media success:

• Hair
• Flat front pants
• Musical or theatrical skills
• Southern intonation
• Mastery of two syllable word strings
 

Blowfish CEO and Summit chair Jack Vance released the annual findings after a real time, on stage image intervention session where he advised David Axelrod to get a chin implant and Karl Rove to invest in a hairpiece. Vance cited several media celebrities with waning hair issues, who he predicted would receive less media attention as their follicular challenges increased. These soon to be challenged include Anderson Cooper, Rahm Emanuel and Jude Law. Additional highlights included the bestowing of the first annual Michael Landon award for good hair to Bill Clinton, for a lifetime achievement of mane maintenance.

The Media Summit is an annual, invite only event for the 1/100 of 1%ers – in business and politics. It is fully sponsored by media strategy firm Blowfish Communications and hosted by CEO Jack Vance. Past attendees have included Bill Clinton, Lil Wayne, Warren Buffet, Joe the Plumber, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Madonna, Steve Spielberg and George Clooney (of course). Guests are invited to the Summit based on their overall Blowfish yearly media popularity score. This year’s summit was held Camp David, by special permission of the President.

 

Excerpt from   Blowfish: A Private Life in Public Relations  (A business noir serial launching June 4th).

Get ready to meet Jack Vance this summer. He’s not your typical marketing pro; he’s part rock star, part guru, part self-destructive demon and all business. Jack’s got a wall full of awards, a portfolio of world class business and more attitude than a bottle of 100 year old single malt corked with a .357 magnum.  

Get up close and personal with Jack Vance on Monday June 4th,  when a new business noir serial debuts on CommPRO.biz:  “Blowfish: A Private Life in Public Relations.” Blowfish makes Mad Men look like Friends – find out next week.